EDITION 1 Issue #3
If acceptance is the answer to all my problems, how do I make sure I am manifesting this in all areas of my life? How do I actually become accepting of all the bad and hurt and pain that has happened to me? How do I accept others have hurt me, physically and/or mentally? How can I possibly reconcile the damage has been done to me? I have people say to me: “You don’t know how it’s been, what it’s been like.” The abuse, the torment, both physical and mental and demoralizing treatment from supposed ‘loved ones’. How can people actually do this? Then, often, we find ourselves treating others, our spouses, girlfriends/boyfriends, our children and charges the same way we hated to be treated. The same way we promised, in our most desperate hours. When we felt at our worst, knowing it’s not normal, not correct to be treated the way we are being abused and mistreated, we promised we would never hurt a fellow human being like this, EVER!
And then we see ourselves acting out in this behaviour. Mistreating our loved ones; hurting others, behaving badly, promising after every incident that we would never do it again. Asking a child (or spouse) for forgiveness for the hurtful things we have done to them is an awful and undignified thing. Abusing and punishing our friends, charges, loved ones just like we were being treated. Just like we promised we would never do. WHY? Because this is what we learned, this is the teachings has come down to us, probably from generation to generation. This is our ‘default’ setting. “We do what we do because we know what we know.”(S.S.)
Knowing this today allows me to see the hatred I had for my father is misguided. The things which were done to me are not because the man was evil, or that he had evil intentions. He was not a bad man at heart. He did what he did because this is what he knew. Period! The things our fathers and forefathers did will remain in the system until we can come to acceptance of ‘what is’ on life’s terms. “If there is no change, there is no change.”(S.S.) The way we act, and treat our loved ones is almost always a reflection of the way our forefathers, or our family of origin acted, or our adoptive families. We assume the same behaviors and conditioning as being the right way, sometimes consciously, oftentimes unconsciously. We unknowingly condition our lives on the lives of those we love, or despise, whatever the case may be we assume this behavior.
What do we do now?
So where do we begin the change? We need to come to terms with any behaviour we have suffered which is incorrect, illegal, hurtful and otherwise just not morally or socially acceptable, and become totally and fully accepting of the past. We must forgive on the terms we have accepted the past as events we had no power over. As events which were uncontrollable and outside of the scope of our power to do anything about them. When we see the events in this light, we are able to forgive. Remembering there was no intention or purposeful malice to the actions of supposed correction, or whatever other physical or mental abuse we suffered at the hands of others. If we look at the acts and actions of others as a conditioning they may have suffered and are only acting this behavior out, this gives us the power to forgive and to become, throughout the full depth of our being, totally and completely accepting of all the things have been done to us. (This is the place where you(the reader) do some writing, and meditate on this until you(the reader) find complete acceptance in your heart.)
Now, thanks to the power of forgiveness, and being able to put the past where it belongs: In the past. Yesterday is gone, and there is nothing I can do about yesterday. What I can do is ensure, and be certain, it doesn’t happen again in my family. On my watch things can, and will, change. The beginning of the future depends on me coming to terms with the suffering; (look for our newsletter on “SUFFERING” in next week’s installment.) depends on my coming to terms with forgiving all which has been done to me as just life; manifests in ways I have had no control over. The things which were done to me, or by me, cannot be changed. But I do have the power to become totally and forever ACCEPTING of all that is. And the change begins here, the change begins NOW! The CHANGE begins with me! (look for our edition on “CHANGE” in the new year) Change needs to begin here, right here right now. And I am the only one who can be the benefactor, to all my descendants and all the people I come into contact with, as the bearer of good intention and good action on the intention. I can, and will, live my life in a meaningful, purpose driven way. RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!
IF ACCEPTANCE IS THE SOLUTION TO ALL MY PROBLEMS, THEN WHY AM I STILL SUFFERING?
The thing about acceptance is it has to be manifest in all areas of our lives. This can take a lot of inner work and years of self-realization. Let us look closer inside, in prayer we ask for assistance to search deeply for the strength to scan through the wreckage of our past, through the abuse some of us suffered. Through the feelings we had when we were subjected to such despicable behavior and abuse. The horrible recollections have to be come to terms with. We have to relive this for the last time and look at everything from the perspective; we have no control on past. Past is not within our realm of being able to change. What is within our possibility is to remove the resentments from the past actions of others.
Meditate now on the power in the discovery of ACCEPTANCE in all areas of your life.
We wish you all Peace and Serenity in all areas of your life, until next week.
Next week’s blog on “SUFFERING”. Be sure to subscribe to our website to be sure you receive our weekly newsletter.