Edition 2 Issue #19
What is RECONCILIATION and why, and what, or with whom do I need to reconcile with? I need to reconcile my Faith. So what this means is I have separation (read up on SEPARATION in the April 25, 2015 blog post. SUBSCRIBE today to be sure to receive the blogs directly to your inbox). I felt the separation; I felt the emptiness in my gut, the longing for something which had, at one time, been present and now is missing. What is the emptiness I’m feeling?
This emptiness, the longing, the little whisper, which with time, turns into a scream, a yelling from my intuitive; ringing in my ears until I finally ask the question: What is it? What am I missing? Why do I feel so alone? Why do I feel an emptiness in the pit of my stomach. This is the first sign of self-consciousness, or self-awareness (read up on Self-Awareness in the April 2, 2015 blog post. SUBSCRIBE today to be sure to receive the blogs directly to your inbox). Where is salvation? GOD has forsaken me! And now, I must accept a loving GOD which could never forsake me, a GOD which was always present. Yet I, through the self-centeredness of original sin, have pushed away. This omnipotent, omnipresent entity of pure energy, Universal Mind if you will, is always here. The Source of all there is, waiting patiently for my return. The benefits are immense, the openings huge, when we completely give ourselves to a program and reconcile.
GUILT AND SHAME
I felt all the above feelings and emptiness, but worst of all I felt GUILT and SHAME (read up on GUILT and SHAME in the December 17, 2014 blog post. SUBSCRIBE today to be sure to receive the blogs directly to your inbox). This pain in the pit of my stomach that I feel not worthy, I feel I haven’t lived up to the expectations of; my parents, my family, my employer, my co-workers, my friends…. The feeling I am so alone and without hope, or without substance, without true direction. Have you had these feelings? Maybe not, or maybe in a small way, and if it starts to get worse you must pick this reading up again and then follow direction to where we wish to direct you.
A NEW DESIGN FOR LIVING
In the program of recovery of Alcoholics Anonymous® and let us be clear on this; you do not need to identify as an alcoholic to benefit from the program of recovery in AA. There are presently hundreds of 12 Step programs based on the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous®, yes some are alcohol and drug related, like NA and CA, but most are not. Although all deal with addictions of some sort, there are those who have benefited from the 12 Steps to alleviate eating disorders, gambling, spending, and a large number are co-dependents… Bottom line is there is hope for all who feel a certain emptiness, a separation, or loneliness. We benefited greatly from the 12 Steps and found in it a new design for living centered in unchanging laws of the universe. Returning to Source, yes the Source of all there is. Some would call this energy GOD. Others will use Creator of the Universe, Universal Mind, and by any other name is the same. We cannot put firm hand on this energy I will call GOD, or Source, yet as with electricity: I don’t know how electricity works, yet it will light a bulb in my home to allow me to read at night and see where I am going in the darkness. Electricity will warm my home, will cook my food and yet I have no idea how it works and from where it came from. I have the same certainty in a Power Greater than myself will love me and guide me in time of difficulty if I have faith.
I pray, I meditate, I quiet my monkey mind whenever I feel troubled. Whether I am feeling sad, troubled, or happy I pray regularly for peace and guidance. I pray more often now than I have even in the past. I have learned this action of prayer changes the thought patterns from self-centered egocentric to self-less and ego removing. I recall a few years ago at a hospital physical rehabilitation unit, this is where the devastating injuries, near death, like brain injury and spinal cord where the patient is reduced to a fraction of the physical being they used to be. Where the patient has had a life altering injury, be it a car accident, a stabbing, falling from heights, purposely (attempted suicide) or thrown off. I have seen this type and more where someone’s child, spouse, father of mother has been reduced to cripple by the ravages of drugs and alcohol. Let me just be clear here: the patients in this hospital are not necessarily alcoholics or addicts, but when a patient comes to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous® in this hospital unit, it is usually as a result of being drunk or stoned, somehow under the influence of a substance where their faculties had been reduced by the devastation of addiction. They have suffered greatly and we need to be there for them.
Back to the story on prayer; at this hospital meeting, a man I had known from other meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous® began to share with the group the fact he was atheist. As the group discussion had been centered on prayer he continued and said his AA sponsor had told him to pray. He explained he had become so willing to let go (read up on “Letting Go” in the January 7, 2015 blog post. SUBSCRIBE today to be sure to receive the blogs directly to your inbox) and surrender he did whet his sponsor said. He explained his actions were out of desperation, he no longer wanted what he was doing, yet he could not stop drinking and drugging. He was at a turning point, the point of no return where he knew he needed change yet did not know how. Until, out of sheer desperation, he found Alcoholics Anonymous® and the 12 Step program of recovery. He explained, as an atheist, how he did not know what he was praying to, but he did it because his sponsor told him to. He went on to say, “I don’t know what I’m praying to, but my life has changes so I continue to do it (prayer). My life has changed and is constantly changing from doing the things suggested to me by the 12 Step program and my sponsor who has suffered and subsequently recovered through this process and he has suffered before me and understands what I face. It is with the help of sponsorship and prayer I sober today.”
In closing I will speak of the Ceremony of Reconciliation. In Catholism and Christianity we have confession; this is called the Ceremony of Reconciliation. In step 5 of the 12 Step program of recovery of Alcoholics Anonymous®: “We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” Having made a complete inventory of our shortcomings, we are at a point where we must release this to the Universe. To do this some of us chose our sponsor in AA or an affiliated program; others will like the privacy and intimacy of the confessional. This is a service a priest or clergy will offer for anyone, no matter what your religion, or lack of, speaks to clergy and they will be of service. Remember you do not need to be religious to benefit from speaking to a person of the cloth, no matter what denomination they belong to, they are compassionate and understanding. And most important to a great many of us, a person of the cloth is bound to everlasting confidentiality, and because of this there is nothing they have not heard, no shame they would be outraged by, not words they have not heard which would shock them. This is my personal preferred method.
It is through this release, through this complete letting go of past, that we are able to move freely forward in life. Remember the Universe understands symbolism and ritual as its preferred languages. This sharing of all our shortcomings, through this process of “admitting to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs,” is how the Universe best understands and accepts our release from the bondage of self, or from karma if you will. Karma is not a law, is not binding and Edgar Cayce tells us: “No longer is the entity then under the law of cause and effect — or karma, but rather in grace it may go on to the higher calling as set in Him." (2800-2) www.edgarcayce.org
“Look for next week’s edition on “SELF-ACCEPTANCE”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
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