Edition 2 Issue #23
We spoke last week on humility, this was but one of the many challenges we face in the game of life. Moving into a place where we feel comfortable being humble. Not subservient of the type: “I will obey because you put the handcuffs on me” but humble in the way; I will listen to you. I will genuinely care about you and want to listen and lend an ear. I will hang on most every word and allow you your space. I will be empathetic to your plight, and be of service where I can.
Every problem or difficulty in my life today I call “Challenges” and as a challenge, it means I have an immediate job to do, to conquer the challenge, to deal with this difficulty as a challenge I can overcome, with the aid of a power greater than myself. I turn all problems into challenges, and I am now in a position to be a problem solver. How do we overcome the challenge? This is the real question, because every challenge has a simple solution, whereas problems hang, sometimes forever.
So if we look at every problem as a challenge, we immediately turn our sights on a solution. When it’s a difficulty, or worse a problem; I tend to wallow in the shit, I blame others. I have to blame because there’s no way it could ever be my fault! Ha! ME, be the cause of a problem? NO WAY! This was my mentality, always someone else’s fault! So, from a blamer, I become the solution. I have adopted solution based thinking into my habit form. What a wonderful difference from the old person wo was reactive and violent at all conflict and confrontation, busting out in horrific rants on how it is not my fault, how this is the wrong way, and I know how to set it right, my way! The ranting and raving of how life is cruel and I am a victim, developing into full blown arguments and even fisticuffs.
Not only am I now a problem solver by allowing the problem to become a challenge, allowing the challenge to have a simple solution; I immediately implement the solution: No problem. Easy, just like having the ‘easy button, like on that commercial from the stationary store. The solution based thinker doesn’t react to everything in outrage, the solutions based thinker pauses, takes a deep breath and analyses, discusses, takes the ‘time-out’ needed to carefully, and calmly form a place of love and harmony. From this calmness answers become generated from inside, not necessarily form our confused and troubled mind, but from the heart centre. Remember; God lives in a place within us that is indeed miraculous.
So if I make every problem a challenge I remain accountable. Challenges means there is a solution and I’m challenged to find the solution. This keeps me accountable for my transgressions, for my difficulties; basically accountable for my shit! I can no longer shift the blame for my stuff! Holding myself accountable to me; doesn’t mean I have to be hard on myself, God knows I’m already tough enough on myself. Historically I was never able to live up to certain, mind you false, expectations which were driven primarily from family of origin (more on family of origin in a later bog. be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly to your inbox, that way you won’t miss anything.) You know: “you’ll never amount to nothing!”, “You good for nothing _____!”, “Can’t you do anything right!” and so on so forth these things stay in our minds until we let go absolutely. (read our blog on “LETTING GO” in January 7, 2015 edition of our newsletter, subscribe today to receive it directly to your email, you won't miss a beat) Letting go is a process and the Twelve Step work facilitates this process. It’s not the only way mind you, but it worked for me and countless others, so I recommend it. Contact me directly at the link on he contact page for more on this, or alternatives for those who do not suffer from alcoholism or addiction and just wish release and eventual Enlightenment.
When I think on challenges, I remember the way I used to be a control freak and this thought from Wayne Dwyer comes to mind.
“When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”
So it’s all about change in the way we look at the problem; from a problem and difficulty, it becomes a challenge, hence a game. Not only does it become a game, it becomes a game we can win with the tools we have from a program of recovery in the 12 Steps. Get the tools today in the form you need them. I embraced anew design for living in a twelve step program, there are countless ones out there and most all of us fit into at least one of them, be it overeating, drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex addiction, shopping, co-dependency… The list goes on and on. The good part here is there is a twelve step program for each of these and countless others I haven’t even dreamed of. My problem was in alcohol and drugs, and sex, and food, and controlling and… need I go on any longer?
I found a solution in the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and next month the big 80 year celebration of the wonderful movement will be hosted in Atlantic City.
Now here’s a gambling mecca. How many alcoholics, even the recovered kind, do you think may have, still have, a gambling problem. I’ll see you there and we can look into the casinos and see if we find any of our friends needing an ear. Or worse, a shoulder to cry on…
Look for next week’s edition on “RECOVERY”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
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